The Enemy
I'm alone and I'm walking on a long road..I don't know why I left my home and I don't have anything with me, not even a note.. I don't know anything but I know where to go, I feel determined even though I feel so low..
My legs slowly stop moving, I smoothy fall down.. I lay on the ground and see something..A dark man, the opposite of a clown..
He goes behind me and grabs my legs, dragging me along the street like I'm a young lad..
I'am afraid and angry aswell, I can not move.. It's scary as hell..
Suddenly the man is gone and I'am free.. Wondering about his plan and noticing my knee.. It's full of blood but I don't care. I'm glad that I finally had luck and walk down the stairs.. I'm on an empty road - bloodsoaked.
I'm in panic but I can't run, I'm not acting dramatic but my face is stunned..
Suddenly something pulls me up, to the sky like the gravity was cut..
I close my eyes and notice, I'm full of sweat, my heart is stomping but I'm in my bed..
I'm thinking about what happened.. Why was it so real?
I know it was my brain that operated but why the zeal?
Daily I get up without a smile, cause I know.. the peace will only last for a little while..
Every night I learn to know my feelings better, I'm afraid everytime I go to sleep, it's like I'm leaving a letter.. I know if I think about it, I will dream the same shit.. again and again..
But I can't help it, it's without my will, things just go down the pan..
I just want to forget about everything and stop dreaming.. Forget hating and end the suffering.. With the first smile I wear in years, I go out without losing tears.. I slowly walk to the freeway to commit a suicide.. I feel like walking to the lane and do the things I think are right..
Suddenly I feel like I shouldn't do it.. I'm afraid of dieing.. I can not leave..It's something I can not permit.. I should stop trying..There might be funny times.. like christmas eve.. I know it's not me thinking now, it's something else.. It's my other personality, wanting to see me fail..I know it's like that.. I'm in my own jail.. Living on a 2 person cell with someone I hate..disliking people with freedom, where nothing is too late..
I'm tired of this sickening hypocrisy...But I'm not able to stop the conspiracy..Living in a 2 meter cell, with my enemy..
~@~J.W.~@~
11.09.2009
I'm alone and I'm walking on a long road..I don't know why I left my home and I don't have anything with me, not even a note.. I don't know anything but I know where to go, I feel determined even though I feel so low..
My legs slowly stop moving, I smoothy fall down.. I lay on the ground and see something..A dark man, the opposite of a clown..
He goes behind me and grabs my legs, dragging me along the street like I'm a young lad..
I'am afraid and angry aswell, I can not move.. It's scary as hell..
Suddenly the man is gone and I'am free.. Wondering about his plan and noticing my knee.. It's full of blood but I don't care. I'm glad that I finally had luck and walk down the stairs.. I'm on an empty road - bloodsoaked.
I'm in panic but I can't run, I'm not acting dramatic but my face is stunned..
Suddenly something pulls me up, to the sky like the gravity was cut..
I close my eyes and notice, I'm full of sweat, my heart is stomping but I'm in my bed..
I'm thinking about what happened.. Why was it so real?
I know it was my brain that operated but why the zeal?
Daily I get up without a smile, cause I know.. the peace will only last for a little while..
Every night I learn to know my feelings better, I'm afraid everytime I go to sleep, it's like I'm leaving a letter.. I know if I think about it, I will dream the same shit.. again and again..
But I can't help it, it's without my will, things just go down the pan..
I just want to forget about everything and stop dreaming.. Forget hating and end the suffering.. With the first smile I wear in years, I go out without losing tears.. I slowly walk to the freeway to commit a suicide.. I feel like walking to the lane and do the things I think are right..
Suddenly I feel like I shouldn't do it.. I'm afraid of dieing.. I can not leave..It's something I can not permit.. I should stop trying..There might be funny times.. like christmas eve.. I know it's not me thinking now, it's something else.. It's my other personality, wanting to see me fail..I know it's like that.. I'm in my own jail.. Living on a 2 person cell with someone I hate..disliking people with freedom, where nothing is too late..
I'm tired of this sickening hypocrisy...But I'm not able to stop the conspiracy..Living in a 2 meter cell, with my enemy..
~@~J.W.~@~
11.09.2009
